Final Reflection on Learning

I believe that there is inherent good in others. However, working with people can make this hard to see, especially when disagreements arise. Over the course of this module, it has been a challenge to uphold my belief when required to cooperate with different individuals, all carrying different working styles and viewpoints. I began my first blog-post stating that communication was the solution to many disagreements, and through ES2007S, this stand has developed.

Although we classify communication into professional and personal, its purpose is still unchanged – to build bridges between people. By seeing professional communications as a means to utilise people and achieve optimal functionality, we begin to view people as mere numbers. This is where viewing people’s inherent good is most essential, yet it may be the last thing one considers when the pressure of tasks and deadlines build up. When teammates disagreed with my opinion, it was instinctive to reason that they were against me. Only when benefit of doubt was considered, and effort was taken to clarify, did many of the potential disagreements fade. Hence, it was a humbling process to relearn this counter-intuitive fundamental principle.

Presentation skills were another aspect that ES2007S equipped me thoroughly with. Presentation is ordinary conversations with people, in a formal setting. This concept enabled me to reshape the methods used when presenting. I am naturally comfortable conversing with people in non-formal settings, but self-inflicted pressure has always hindered me during presentations. Viewing presentations as conversations has enabled me to enjoy the process, allowing me to better relate with the audience. To me, presentation needs to be personal. Audiences can differentiate speakers who are convicted, from speakers who go through the motion. There is no perfect method used to deliver. What matters greater would be the message that is spoken. Ultimately, the goal of presentation is to persuade. How then, can the audience be persuaded if the speaker is not convinced himself?

The module may be coming to a close, yet I believe that learning the art of communication is a never-ending journey. Cliché as it might sound; this lesson is one that I feel is of utmost importance. The very moment one believes he has attained perfect communication skills, is when he shuts himself off from the rest of the world. People are a community; and so, i believe that to be people, is to learn how to communicate.

*To Shu Wen, Ankita, Yee Sheng, Isabelle, JJ, Jerry, Yu Mengm Ren Fei, Nigel, Tony, Charlotte, and Mdm Radhika, Thank you for making this module a most memorable one! =)

Look who I bumped into on a Saturday in school!

"Communication is not a tool to manipulate people. Communication is a bridge to understand people."

To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.

Tony Robbins

Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/t/tonyrobbin132532.html#ql0MdFubVFTB46uw.99T

To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.

Tony Robbins

Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/t/tonyrobbin132532.html#ql0MdFubVFTB46uw.99

To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.

Tony Robbins

Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/t/tonyrobbin132532.html#ql0MdFubVFTB46uw.99

To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.

Tony Robbins

Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_communication.html#bKydtJyUB5I6Dhbg.99

To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.

Tony Robbins

Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_communication.html#bKydtJyUB5I6Dhbg.99

To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.

Tony Robbins

Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_communication.html#bKydtJyUB5I6Dhbg.99

True story?

Reflection on Team-Based Research Project Proposal

Working in a team is very different from working as a team. To work in a team, functionality is the key necessity. Working as a team (or team work) however, requires much more; communication, active listening, initiative, a humble attitude to admit mistakes, graciousness to forgive mistakes from others, and willingness to compromise. Many people correlate having good team work, solely as their group’s ability to meet deadlines and complete tasks. However, I believe that the process is just as important as the result. In fact, good team work usually enhances both processes and results manifolds.

One common issue, when working in a team, is people having different opinions. This difficulty elevates a notch when people feel strongly about opposing ideas. Our group struggled to come to a consensus with issues, such as project topic, framework of proposal, and target audience. This was especially so, because all of us had a passion for helping the less-fortunate in society. Yet, conflicts did not arise within the group due to everyone’s willingness to compromise.

Personally, to compromise implies seeing the greater good of the team. Sometimes, situations do not allow a middle ground solution, forcing the team to make decisions that may not have everyone’s agreement. I believe that to compromise, is to support the team’s final decision, even when there may be a better solution. Of course, feedback and communication is important, but when decisions are made, it is essential that everyone supports it. The cost to compromise as such can be heavy, but that is when understanding each other's viewpoints comes in. That is where true team work shows.  

An area of improvement, perhaps, would be on the leadership in the team. Everyone in the group had strong leadership backgrounds, thus we decided not to have a leader in order to prevent any hierarchy that would affect our peer relationship. This might have been the cause of some of our decision making struggles. Without a clear leader to make the final decision, many verdicts were based on the majority’s opinion, which required significant discussion time. On hindsight, a possible solution could be for each of us to have taken charge of different portions of the project.

Working with my team has been a pleasant journey, one that has provided me with a glimpse of work-life experience. Often, our team members cannot be chosen, but our team dynamics can.




*To Ankita and Shu Wen: It has been a great pleasure and privilege working with you all. Thank you!*

Interpersonal Communication at its finest

Evaluating Intercultural Behavior

Singapore prides itself in being a nation that has managed to achieve cultural harmony, and rightfully so. Our society’s food, language, and activities are all results of cultures mixing. However, I believe that Singapore’s society is still learning what it means to have cultural understanding of each other. What we have now is cultural tolerance and selective cultural harmony. My current perception of Singapore’s society is that people of different cultures are living geographically together, but perhaps socially separate lives. Certain elements of a culture that appeal to us are shared, a prime example being food. However, we tend to avoid issues that are disagreed upon, sometimes to the extent of us becoming indifferent or ignorant about it.

Understanding another culture goes beyond pictures and hearsay. It is a genuine effort to accept something that may be a stark contrast to what one is familiar with. This requires one to spend time with people from that culture, and realize that one’s culture is not the absolute, sole method to live. For example, the Bangladeshi construction workers, who currently construct our university’s new buildings, are people that we see everyday. However, I did not know much about them, apart from the stereotypes; such as them being less wealthy, uneducated, and even a potential nuisance to society. It was only until 2013’s haze period, did I notice that these were the only few people still working hard in the bad weather. This compelled a few friends and I to go to the construction sites and hand out free drinks to them.

There is always a strong fear of the unknown. What language do they speak? How should I greet them? Will they think I am weird? These are some of the questions we fretted over while preparing to go to the sites. It took much courage for us to start conversations, but once we did, we realized that they are not that different from any of us. We may have different practices and beliefs, but at the very core, all of us are humans.

One of the most impressionable culture differences was that males do not sit beside females, unless they are married. We discovered it when a female friend unknowingly sat beside a male worker to converse. Instead of judging or scolding, the worker politely stood up and moved while explaining the situation. This is how I envision society should accept and understand other cultures; not just through educational media, but through sensitive communication and graciousness for one another.

Interpersonal Conflict

My personal belief is that the solution to majority of man’s conflicts is communication.  Communication has become synonymous with ‘the medium of communication’; writing, speaking, presentation.  This should not be the case.  ‘Communication’ stems from the word ‘community’.  This implies that communication is about the people themselves.  Perhaps a reason for interpersonal conflict is that one is not communicating, but rather having a monologue, lacking understanding, empathy, and genuine interest in the other party.

Last week, I arrived home after a long day of classes, and was fighting off an oncoming fever.  Being in that state, the conversation with my mother led to me considering the option of foregoing the next day’s lessons to rest.  My mother being unaware of my current condition casually mentioned ‘not to skip class, and to take lessons seriously’.  This led to a fierce response from me.  The conversation was abruptly halted with an apology muttered by me when I realized that my response has been uncalled for.

The beauty of communication is that it is a complex harmony of not just words alone, but emotions, body language, timing, listening and so much more, all happening together.   At times, this multifaceted system confuses us, causing miscommunication.  Thus, it was only after I was able to calm down and elevate myself above the current emotions I harbored, was it possible for me to analyze the situation.  One tip that helps in such scenarios is to make a conscious effort not to use first-person terms, and to focus on the facts, before emotions.  Above the lack of information from my mother’s side, another reason for the conflict was due to me being stress.  Under pressure, emotions and logic run awry, resulting in tension, and even blinding towards certain truths.  In my case, I chose to ignore the fact that my mother did not understand my weariness, and amplify the issue of being unfairly treated, and rightfully so because after working to the point of falling sick, I felt I deserved my rest.

In summary, I reconciled with a text message explaining my feelings, along with an apology for allowing anger to blind my judgment.  This brings up my final point – Humility.  Communication must be accompanied with much humility to accept that things can go wrong, and that no one is perfect.  Apologizing does not imply one is wrong, but that one cherishes the relationship built.