My personal belief is that the solution to majority of man’s
conflicts is communication. Communication has become synonymous with ‘the
medium of communication’; writing, speaking, presentation. This should not be the case. ‘Communication’ stems from the word
‘community’. This implies that communication is about the people
themselves. Perhaps a reason for interpersonal conflict is that one is
not communicating, but rather having a monologue, lacking understanding,
empathy, and genuine interest in the other party.
Last week, I arrived home after a long day of classes, and was
fighting off an oncoming fever. Being in that state, the conversation
with my mother led to me considering the option of foregoing the next day’s
lessons to rest. My mother being unaware of my current condition casually
mentioned ‘not to skip class, and to take lessons seriously’. This led to
a fierce response from me. The conversation was abruptly halted with an
apology muttered by me when I realized that my response has been uncalled for.
The beauty of communication is that it is a complex harmony of not
just words alone, but emotions, body language, timing, listening and so much
more, all happening together. At times, this multifaceted system confuses
us, causing miscommunication. Thus, it was only after I was able to calm
down and elevate myself above the current emotions I harbored, was it possible
for me to analyze the situation. One tip that helps in such scenarios is
to make a conscious effort not to use first-person terms, and to focus on the
facts, before emotions. Above the lack
of information from my mother’s side, another reason for the conflict was due
to me being stress. Under pressure, emotions and logic run awry,
resulting in tension, and even blinding towards certain truths. In my case, I chose to ignore the fact that
my mother did not understand my weariness, and amplify the issue of being
unfairly treated, and rightfully so because after working to the point of
falling sick, I felt I deserved my rest.
In summary, I reconciled with a text message explaining my
feelings, along with an apology for allowing anger to blind my judgment. This brings up my final point –
Humility. Communication must be
accompanied with much humility to accept that things can go wrong, and that no
one is perfect. Apologizing does not
imply one is wrong, but that one cherishes the relationship built.
